lord gimme a sign i relle need to talk to you lord cause the last time we talked the walk has been hard and i no u havent left me but i feel like im alone im a big boy now but im still not grown and im still goin threw it (what) pain and the hurt soakin up trouble like rain in the dirt and i no homie i can stop the rain but just to mention im guna save ur pain in the name of jesus devil i rebuke you for wat i go threw and trying to make me do what i used to but all that stops right here as long as the lord in my life i will have no fear i will know no pain from the light to the dark i willl show no shame spit it right from the heart cause its right from the start you held me down and theres nothing they can tell me now
(chorus) lord gimme a sign let me no wats on ur mind let me no wat im guna find its all the time show me how to teach the mind show me how to reach the blind lord gimme a sign show me wat i gots to do to get me closer to you cause ima go threw with watever u want me to just let me no wat to do lord gimme a sign
please, show me something im tired of talkin to him knowin he frontin cryin about life it aint notin would u either be the one mad cause the other one huntin traped in your arm ma waitn for the lord im huntin with the word that cuts like a sword the spoken word the stronger then they stand he carrys the whole world in his stronger hand you never let us down (jesus) i no u hear wit us now(jesus) i no u still wit us now keep it real wit us now i wanna feel, show me how Please let me take your hand guide me, i walk slow, stay right beside me, the devils trying to find me hide me,hold up, i take that back, protect me and then flip the get the f*ck back
(chorus) lord gimme a sign let me no wats on ur mind let me no wat im guna find its all the time show me how to teach the mind show me how to reach the blind lord gimme a sign show me wat i gots to do to get me closer to you cause ima go threw with watever u want me to just let me no wat to do lord gimme a sign
life or death live or die i will never live a lie im guna live because i try i wont quit untill i die im gonna make it, wrong or right (ya) make it threw the darkest night when the morning comes u'll see
(Chorus) lord gimme a sign let me no wats on ur mind let me no wat im guna find its all the time show me how to teach the mind show me how to reach the blind lord gimme a sign show me wat i gots to do to get me closer to you cause ima go threw with watever u want me to just let me no wat to do lord gimme a sign
So...ever thought why when you were younger...and you were playin sports with ur dad or someone around the same age as them...you play..you play...then they go;
"Oh...man...im half-dead!" and you, cos u were full of vim and vitality would be like:
"Don't be such a wuss!keep playin!" ... and ud see them, like trudgin along...restin their arms on their waists...lookin like they jus completed the marathon when in actual fact, they've only played a round of HORSE with u? i never understood that...till this weekend. this weekend, ive been running around tryin to recapture my peak health, which was in 1988 which was when i could start walkin rather than lie on my belly all day, by playin basketball on saturday and frisbee on sunday.
now, i love basketball...been playin since i was 7 and the *swish* sound that u struggle to achieve by shootin the ball into the basket without touchin the rim is the greatest sound in the world. so natural, so delicate, so awesome. but to run around with all the guys who are only jus reachin their peak physical condition and their peak height which is anythin taller than me, you start to wonder jus how long you are goin to last for...with or without my Charles Barkley jersey. well..i survived the 2 hour session with nothin more than a dead leg, a bad back, worn out arm muscles from the shooting actions and wonderment of what it would be like if i was 2 inches taller. 2 hours later... this is when the "old man syndrome" decided to kick in. body jus shuts down...everythin is a chore...like a chore ur mom sets u on the hour after u jus finished ur last exam...u feel slightly dizzy...u want more water...then, you want to pee...so u decide u wont drink water cos it then takes an effort to move that bag of bones to the bathroom...u want to eat but u feel full from the sense uve jus played sports. ur muscles ache. but as matt tells me "dont be so fat". so i get on with it.
today, i thought id take advantage of the fact there was a frisbee game available since the weather has not been awesome recently and what the hey, i like to see gavin chase after a frisbee...there were 2 frisbees on the go...a normal old skool frisbee (which we used later) and a orange frisbee which looked like a ring so it was easier to catch...gavin gave me his best Xena Warrior Princess impression.... "YAIIYAIIYAIIYAIYAIIIIII.....!!!"
"So Take That, MIchael Flatley and Xena eh?" "yep."
anyway, i decided because im not a great frisbee thrower (i launched Xena's ring of justice onto the tallest tree around...luckily Kenneth's Shoe of Avengence was around for it's special move), i thought i could be a good running back cos: a) i dont wanna stand around and count blades of grass b) no one suspects the fat guy to run c) no one suspects ross the fat guy to run
and it worked out pretty well...got alot of great feeds from my team and scored quite a few touch downs...till "old man syndrome" came in...u know ur gettin old when u detect an injury that uve never felt before..this time...it was my butt...i have no idea what kind of spasm happened...but everytime i ran around...there was this zinger of pain...but what they hey...100% heart baby. carried on till the end..got the same after effects now...
man...the body wont move...only for food, playstation, water (if the tank aint full yet) and a few things that ive forgotten...i think the old man syndrome is catchin up with my mind too...wait, whats my name again?
I'm currently listening to: "Earthquakes and Sharks" by Brandtson
I've had strange names and variation in my lifetime...
1) My dear old grandma who i love to pieces has no english vocabulary except for the odd word or two like "water", "hello", "bye bye" ... So, it is understandable that it is quite difficult to say my name...she calls me "Loss"...my mom always tells me that pickin 'Ross' was better than her other choice 'Ryan' because of it...
2) My grandma's brother used to call me 'Rose' in my formative years
3) Matthew calls me 'Rosie' or 'Rosie baby' because of him
4) My friends call me sometime 'Raaassss' cos i have a slight american accent and apparently i say thats how i say my name.
5) My indian friend used to call me 'Rosmalai' which apparently means 'an indian sweet-type desert thing'
6) Othertimes its 'Rossy' or 'Rossyboy' which there are no qualms. in fact, i dont have any problems with any of em ive listed.
But today...TODAY...this morning...drinking my morning tea and watchin BBC news...the postman delivers 2 envelopes...they are face down so i didnt instantly know who they were for... One was addressed to "M J Chinn" and the other was addressed to:
" Mr. Roff Chin"
ROFF. ROFF. ROFF? how wrong could u possibly be?! Maybe he thought 'Roff' was shortform for 'Roffaniel' or 'Roffistopher' or 'Roffanthan' or 'Roff-whos-a-good-boy-?' Told my mom and showed her the envelope...she suggested "how bout woof?"
7) The guy who sent me an envelope calls me 'Roff Chin' possibly after his family dog. its a chubby chinese lookin dog.
---edit---
this is an incredibly happy song...i love it!
I'm currently listening to: "Light and Day" by Polyphonic Spree
So..we had our first Art Crew bbq at the back of the art block to celebrate our last full day as everyday KES students...you can tell we've been there as there are 3 singed areas of grass from our disposable BBQ kits... after 30 sausages, 24 rashers of bcaon, bread galore, soft drinks and cheese cake...we are stuffed Art Crewans... It was incredible..the smell of sausages could be smelt throughout the entire school..only the Art Kids would have enough tenacity to have a meat cookout.
Apart from the work, ive really enjoyed this year with the new crew...at first it was weird naturally but by now, i think i have built up really good friendships with these guys which i thought would not have happened... the guys are a solid bunch...funny,smart and genuine...real people...no two-faceness about anythin..straight hip shooters...and thats awesome.
man...im stuffed...i detect a hint of salmonella comin up soon...watch this space.
I'm currently listening to: "Simple Design" by Breaking Benjamin
So...im sweatin...weird...its not the meat sweats u get from eatin meat...its not sweat that comes from my once in 2 weeks basketball session come early...its not the sweat i get from chasin the 61 bus as it starts to pull away from the bus stop...its sweatin on a weekday! its sweatin on a Monday afternoon which the rain or drizzle didn't attribute to. no ladies and gentlemen...its sweatin cos ive got a bicycle.
It all stemmed from when i was talkin to one of my classmates, Sam, and my form tutor, Brad, two weeks ago. S: "ross, where do u live?" R: "on the bristol road" S: "oh...how do u get home then?" R: "oh..sometimes i walk..most of the time..i take the bus." S: "You take the bus?!" B: "yeah...cos the panda is too lazy to walk." R: "in a nutshell...thanks sir." S: "thats a travesty...you should bike it to school." R: "i dont own a bike dude..." S: "Get one!" R: "nah..im good." B: "lazy panda."
and i thought nothin of it...until today. i bussed it to school this morning...my daily exercise comes from walkin to the bus stop...and if it need be, a light sprint to it to flag down the bus drivers who really are in Bus Grand Prix with the other drivers. i bet the other drivers at homebase are takin bets on whos the fastest. anyway, got to school....read my mornin Metro paper in my favourite spot in the art block sofa. ooo...liverpool article...page 54-55...interesting. 9 o' clock swings by, Sam enters the block with his bike. R: "Nice bike dude" S: "It is...listen...my uncle is gettin me a new bike cos this is gettin knackered...do u want it?" R: "UHH!"
i later agreed this afternoon at bout 2 pm .... so, Sam, Dominic and myself went to inspect sam's bike behind the art block. i looked at it...black...a lil tattered and bruised...sam wanted to run through the basics of his bike...this was his baby...this was now my rolling wheels of death. he gave me a small talk on how the gears work...flew past my head...as long as i could balance and ride it with ease and safety, i didnt care.
R: "so...whats the rule on helmets...?" S: "its not compulsory...you're fine mate...i rode in from Walsall this morning...one and a half hours...you'll be fine." D: "also...'Helmet' rhymes with 'Ponce' "
So..off i rode onto the Bristol road...no cushion or suspension could support the bumps..so my butt hurts...i worried that my pants (trousers to u all) would get caught in the cogs..so i had to geekily tuck em in my socks...sweatin drippin off my nose...water mud splats flying everywhere...but amid all that...as i glided, the cool breeze on my face..imogen heap playin softly in my ears, it was fun...havent rode on a bike since i was 10...and it was awesome...
Although i can smell the meat sweats that has been produced from cycling...i smell pepperoni.
I'm currently listening toL "You're all I have" by Snow Patrol
-sitting in front of my desk -tired but not metally tired -stressed bout what happens next -praying for backups -looking forward to worshipping in a few hours -feeling like i want to be quiet and not contribute -feeling hypocritical when i say that and somehow manage to get myself in the predicament of talkin-talkin -thinkin bout moments that flashed by -replayin moments in my head that didnt exist in the first place -searchin to talk to God and re-connect with Him -thinking bout my family and how i miss all of them -thinking of wakin up durin the summer holidays lookin forward to do nothin -thinkin of whether to buy the original Superman triology and Football Manager 06 from play.com after my exams -wondering why i cant think of words and a melody of my own -amazed at the way bert has shown me how God could work in a way that i can understand -thinkin of missed opportunities -gettin burned by Debra (Lil G's cousin) on why i dont have a feminine side apparently -wonderin why i played such a bad game of basketball yesterday -fine...for now.
I'm currently listening to: "Lenny/Man on the side" by John Mayer
I had a nice time...There was a whole lotta pointing goin on.. oh, and im such a weakling...i was givin Phi a piggy back ride..then it turned into a Piggy Back Fight...woke up this morning...and my arms are killin me..the tendons..the twitching...better not affect Hoops on Saturday.
