A sense of unrest
So...I have been at a state of unrest recently but ironically most of the time watching the world spin around...in my mind, i have a shilloutte of me sittin on a bench and time is fast forwarding but im doin things in real time...
argh....i jus cant seem to find a direction...
was talkin to my form tutor, and he says im jus generally confused as to what i want to do post-KES...i think he's right...
im tryin to take one hurdle at a time but in reality i cant do that anymore...i want to find a direction but there are things in the way...questions, fears, anxieties...Form tutor said "its part of life"...apparently, after my London trip my teacher said he's never seen me so buzzed...should i take notice?
WHAT DO I WANT?! i feel like im wasting the life God has given me..
i know i want to be outta school, i shouldve been...but i dont where tho...i dont want to be like a friend of mine who has no idea what he wants to do and runs his life in slow-mo under his folks' roof...fresh out of school and atm livin a slackers life...appealing as it is for a week...thats not where i want to end up...but it sure feels like it.
Maybe i cant see it because these fears are jus fogging me...takin me another direction forward...its easy to say "clear it" but theres jus too much sometimes...
i want to do things...i want to try and learn my biology notes...I WANT TO...i jus cant seem to face it at the moment...but im gonna try...
i wish i could have a movie moment...one of those movie moments where u have really upbeat cool music as the camera pans on u doing work, seeing u suceed, seeing u fail...but ultimately as the music dies down...you finish. you're pleased...you're done...those moments look easy when they aint...
Song of the Day: "Headlock" by Imogen Heap
posted by Mumbly Panda @ 19:31
2 Comments:
i will pray for u to find direction and maybe u shud learn your biology notes with another person that is studying it too, may help it to stick, with summat to relate to. we are all faced with the challenge of no direction but hang in there dude, wait, pray, and one day it will come, clear as mud, the light of day, given from up above. so dont u worry, smile and be happy, oh and learn your notes one at a time, try to do it to rhym and reason, sing some more, so there u have it, make like superman, ha ha ha, only joking, pray pray pray and dont worry and stop being in a hurry, so they say, it comes to those that wait, how long will be your wait? only god knows. so take care and god bless ....
thanks chrissy and crazy lady...
i know..times like this...no matter how blind i am cos of whats happening...i jus need to try and kungfu grip God's hand...its the only way ill get to the clearing...
its jus scary when ur blind right?
but im confident that God will drag me thru...
:D
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